Dear Jay Smith,

You recently sent me an email describing yourself as the digital marketing and SEO expert at a leading SEO service provider. I’m writing back, in the form of a blog post, questioning the idea that you work for a reputable and, thus, leading agency.

Why am I questioning the authenticity of your expertise, the expertise of your agency?

1. Your email was delivered via Gmail address.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Google gal and I love me some Gmail. However, even though I’m a devotee, I manage to write and respond with an email that showcases the domain of my company, Go Creative Go.

Kudos for using Gmail and not Yahoo or AOL. Still? The failure to write me from a domain leads me to think your ‘leading” provider status might live only in your own mind.

2. No link to your site, EVER!

Jay, I’m shaking my head in wonder. You never, not once, link to your site. Therefore, I have no way of visiting your website and no way to verify your leading provider status. I can’t check where your site ranks in the SERPs, as you never share where exactly your company resides online. What gives?

Just saying, Jay – any SEO company worth their salt has a smart presence online. Know what else? They share it with their prospects!

3. You promised me first page rank on Google, Yahoo and Bing.

If there’s one thing I know, and one thing that I’m sure ALL of my audience knows, it’s this: No reputable SEO company promises first page rankings. Why? Because there’s no way to guarantee delivery. You didn’t ask me which keywords or key phrases I’d like to be found under, so how can you guarantee success?

4. You called my links poor and unauthorized.

Since I pick and choose any sites to which I link quite carefully, and because I carefully monitor sites linking to me, I’m going to have to call you out on this charge, Jay. I may not be the SEO expert you claim to be, but as a web designer I take a very hands on approach with all parts of my website, including the links going out and coming in.

So, sadly, going to have to channel Dr. Sheldon Cooper and call out your email’s assertion as pure hokum!

5. You dissed my content, calling it “not high standard.”

First of all, ouch! I generally don’t appreciate constructive criticism from those sending me an unasked for sales pitch. Secondly, I rarely take content marketing or writing advice from people who can’t manage to create a grammatically correct sentence.

That’s right! Don’t diss my content when your writing leaves a little something something to be desired!

6. You tried to convince me your spam email is NOT, in fact, spam!

You ended your leading SEO service provider sales pitch by telling me you’re NOT spamming me. I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree on what spamming actually entails.

You stated:

Disclaimer:- “Note: – We are not spammer. We found your email through manually efforts.We are sorry if you get email 2 or 3 times.You can simply reply with “remove” so we will delete your email from our list.Thanks again.“The CAN-SPAM Act of 2003”.

My rebuttal to your spam-free disclaimer:

1. I don’t know you from Adam, and I certainly never signed up for your list. So, asking me to remove myself from something to which I’ve never subscribed pretty much points the finger at you as the spammer!
2. Sending me the same unsolicited email more than once, two-three times, screams spam!
3. You say you’ll delete me from your list. A list I never asked to join. Once again, this screams out spam, Jay. You either scraped my email address off my site after a keyword search OR bought my email address from a less than credible source. Final time I’ll say it, SPAMtastic!
4. And, in closing, what the heck are “manually efforts” and why would you think that gives you permission?

Jay, I’m really sorry to say that I seriously doubt you’re a leading expert in anything related to SEO. In fact, I believe your only expertise lies in less than stellar spam email tactics. Going to have to give your offer a pass.

Anyone else heard from Jay or his ilk of late? Have you ever responded to spamtastic email with a blog post? If so, I’d love to read it. Please do leave me a link in the comments.